reasons

Dance-
today i caught myself doing a tango ochos move in the kitchen... that cracked me up!! even tho' i was in a pretty shitty mood.. hehe, u are capable of laughter however low down in the dumps you are..

Anyway, Kim had once called me Twinkle Toes Pradhan, NOT for my dancing skills... but, man, that was premonitory in a wierd kinda way! Who'd have thought I'd actually say that I enjoy this thing! hehe.. as my old friend said today - "what's this? the new rebranded Anuj?? actually dancing.. and waking early!! :)"

But yes, Tango is fun. I do not know how good it looks to an observer, but it definitely feels real good. And that's what counts right?

Blog-
A conversation yesterday about blogs and their contents. (We are talking about personal blogs)
Some are very very high-level, and too-specialized.
Some are too pedantic to be fun.
Some are too shallow.
Someone said - "I dont like so-and-so's blog coz it is more like a journal about his/her life". That was a key observation. a public journal .. no voyuerism there.. and not necessarily of interest unless the person is important to you.

"Well," I thunk, "does mine read like a journal?" ???? ????
maybe, maybe not.. not important.

and that kinda got me to thinking... What do I try and achieve with this site??
Well, here's a list..

- A "keep-in-touch" page. For friends, family, acquaintances, long-lost schoolmates, future buddies, whoever.. whoever is interested in knowing what's kinda happening in my life. This is like one of those old-time mass emails written out to the "family" and "friends" mailing-lists once every 6 months or so.
- A "rant-page" for times when i have to say something about something i've heard/read/seen.. and which i want to keep on record.
- Thoughts page - for the times when i have a brilliant million dollar thought and i need to share it with the world. altho' it doesn't look like i have had many of those in a while huh!!
- Sounding board - venting space - punching bag.
- Archive - for all those moments.
- journal? .. maybe.. memories aren't as good as they used to be, right? need a little something to remind you of what happened when.
- Photo archive/share space.
- finally -and the reason i decided on a website- to put out information online.. whatever info i can share with people out there.

So that's that.

Just random thoughts for today.
Its been a crazy day..
it'll be crazy tomorrow too i guess.

should i wax poetic on
friends
lovers
love - found, lost, unrequited,
feelings
emotions
life
imcompleteness
impermanence
change

or should i spare you this today? maybe some other day huh?

i'll keep a rule for one topic per post.

what the hell has been going on??

my lack of posts..

attributable to two factors..

1- The physical relocation of the host server and the subsequent necessity for reconfiguration etc.
2- Chi is disturbed..

ok.. #1 is understandable.. pretty good excuse I'd say.

But #2 is weak na?? Don't know.. sometimes its tough writing coz u know who your readers are.. I've mentioned before that I should have a completely anonymous blog.. So that I could write on it without holding back at all... but then, where's the fun in that, na? Or I should just say fuck it and write stuff.. but am i ready for the consequences? naaa.. too tired to deal with those.

anyway.. what have I been really up to in the past month and more? let's see..
*a lot of hiking!


















































*the regular tuesday night bowling -
at which i am still fluctuating widely between decent and pathetic. No consistency

*more extra curricular activities.. tango (!!???).. and other ways to distort yourself in an aesthetic manner..

there's more but am suddenly sleepy and tired.. and tired of writing this.. too much effort right now..

all i wanna say is that it's been an interesting time.. wish I could say more, but i cannot...

why not?

coz for some things i'm not sure of what is what.. messed up thoughts and feelings.. as i said, my center's all unbalanced.

u take the whole year to get a solid footing and think you are in control of yourself.. Finally, u are a rock.. unshakeable. And then the next thing you know you are like warm putty.. malleable. wrappabble around a little finger.

scary huh?

oh well.. happy belated thankgiving.. more on that later..

yawwwwwwn

ephemeral existence

"An Architecture of Enlightenment"... a sand mandala, created painstakingly out of millions of grains of coloured sand, poured grain by grain over a four-day period by the Drepung Loseling monks.

they started on monday.. they'd just begun with the inner circle.. couldn't see them on tuesday.. went to sneak a peek on wednesday and this is what they'd progressed to!!


I returned to (an absolutely packed) gallery today, for the closing ceremony.. the chantings and instruments took me back home.. made me yearn for the ceremonies that I had, once upon a time, rejected as archaic and backwards... the gongs, drums, flutes... the guttaral chantings... the deep bass that reverberates into your chest and resonates with your heartbeat.. there's something there for sure! Need to explore that thought and feeling some more...... but I digress...

The closing ceremony ... there were all the chantings and prayers and then the senior monk took a brush and just brushed away the sand mandala. didn't even flinch! ouch! damn! ... he calmly, single handedly (brushedly??), swept up four days of meticulous and agonisingly delicate labor.

What does that mean?
beauty is evanescent?
life is fleeting?
don't cling to it, don't worship it?
all you retain are the memories...
coz everything else withers and dies or is swept away?

online again....

sorry folks... for the drawn out downtime.

Am back on now.. although the postings may still be erratic.

It's good to be back.